Flip Flops (usually paired with jeans)
I’m so excited! It’s getting warmer out around here, and finally, yes finally, it’s about that time. No, not this time. You know what I speak of–that magical season when dudes can throw caution to the wind and bare all their phalanges at once: flip flop season! The clap-clop of those rubber soles sync with the beating of my heart, every time dudes in torn jeans and flops pass me. I said once to a real beaut in bright orange rubbers and cut-offs: “My, what big flops you have!” He pivoted so I could eye his calf-implants, and replied, “All the better to strip off my pants and show you my big flopper, my dear.” I nearly fainted with bipedal glee. You’re always so conscious of the little things that make me want to stick to you like the toe jam around your Old Navy thongs. Maybe you’ve never stepped on a pop top, or blown out a flip flop, but I know which Jimmy Buffet tune will be our wedding song.
